After more than a decade of planning, the Barack Obama Presidential Center will open on June 19, 2026, in Chicago’s Jackson Park, offering access to communal gathering spaces, an urban park, and historic archives. Here, The Onion explores the key facts and figures behind the iconic new attraction.
300
‘Hidden Michelles’ for eagle-eyed visitors to find
7
Lightly salted almonds served as sole snack at center’s café
15%
Ticket discount for former presidents
293 million
Guns on display that Obama took from American citizens
195
Child weight limit in pounds to enter Fruit and Vegetable Garden
18
Months until Trump adds his name
9.5 million
Hairs on taxidermied body of Bo Obama
5
False burial chambers underneath the complex to thwart thieves
65 million
Years since Obama walked the earth
8
Loose kakapo parrots that must surely have an explanation
5
Captive Romney boys in terrarium
48″
Minimum height for guests to ride the ‘Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act’ roller coaster.
1
Lucky child who will inherit the museum if he survives the tour
3
Toilets, which, in hindsight, not enough
