The CDC reports an estimated 31 million people in the United States are bitten by a tick annually. The Onion examines the myths and facts surrounding the common parasites.
MYTH: Ticks only live in the woods.
FACT: Many ticks enjoy the more cosmopolitan feel of a park or garden.
MYTH: You can easily feel a tick bite.
FACT: You didn’t notice that popcorn kernel in your teeth for a whole day.
MYTH: Only deer ticks are dangerous.
FACT: By far the most dangerous species of tick is the Northern Deviously Clever Tick Who Covets Your Family Fortune.
MYTH: Ticks survive solely on blood.
FACT: They also enjoy tapas.
MYTH: Tweezers are the best way to remove ticks.
FACT: Tweezers are a last resort and should only be used if diplomacy fails.
MYTH: You should dispose of a tick by flushing it down the toilet.
FACT: Ticks should be cremated and their ashes scattered over the Grand Canyon per their burial wishes.
MYTH: One tick bite can put a person off eating red meat.
FACT: True but one bite from a cow can put them right back on.
